Transitions

Change is not a threat,

it's an opportunity.

Survival is not the goal,

transformative success is.

- Seth Godin

It's been an interesting year to say the least, and I feel like I'm living in some alternate Universe where nothing seems to make sense. There's chaos and uncertainty, fear and coercion, half truths, full truths and straight up lies. And I don't even know which is which.

But aside from that, life just keeps moving along. Ya know...just living life while growing a life. Saturday will be 21 weeks and we are past the half way mark with this little lady. There has been a lot of introspection and facing my own shit throughout this process. And really, in the whole last year and a half. Life in this moment does not look like the way I planned it out to be, but it's exactly the way it was meant to be. I am confident in that.

I have suppressed a lot of the grief that has come along with the ending of my marriage. And not just grief. It's been a whole lot of things. Even when you are confident in the choices that you make and that path you are taking, it doesn't mean there can't exist sadness about leaving what you once had. And in the process of dissecting those emotions, I've also learned that just because I miss certain things about what life once looked like, it doesn't mean I'm making the wrong choice.

It's been an interesting journey learning to trust myself. The hardest part has been deciphering if I'm acting, thinking and feeling out of trauma or out of authenticity. And the only access to unlocking myself has been self expression. I've learned the importance of saying what's there for me. It's on ongoing conscious choice that doesn't come easy but I'm here for it and I am committed to living a fully self expressed life.

There is so much fulfillment in human connection and engaging in vulnerable interactions where each person is seen, heard, understood and valued. I'm continuously getting present to how I have loved and how I have not, and the way that I am choosing to love moving forward.

Learning grace and self compassion has been one of the most powerful spaces I have stepped into. I am honoring where I am, where I am not, and where I am committed to being. I have two beautiful little ladies by my side and a loving and supportive partner that truly has my back, even when I don't have my own. I can't wait to bring this little girl into this world with my humans by my side.

Baby girl's name is ours to know for now. She is right not track with her growth, without a doubt has her father's nose, is very active and seems to always be rolling around and kicking, and is so very loved.

Thank you all for reading. <3