Right here. Right Now.

June 23, 2019

I just turned 32. Which feels a little strange for a couple reasons. First of all, I’ve turned 29 on my last 3 birthdays. Even my cakes have said “29 again.” So hooray for me for acknowledging my true age since I actually turned 29.

The past few years have been…a lot. I don’t even know how else to describe it other than to say I have become more “me” in that time, than I have in all the years before it. Maybe it’s a thing that happens when you enter your 30’s. Maybe it’s the 1/3 life crisis? Maybe it’s just me. I really don’t know. But I feel compelled to share a little bit more of me with the world because quite frankly, I’ve gotten really tired of hiding.

Something really magical happens when you finally start walking on that path towards figuring out who the hell you really are. I think the first step for me was owning my truth and man oh man, that’s a tough thing to do when you’ve been hiding…or denying…or whatever else. It’s a process, and a never ending one at that. And something I’m still working towards every single day.

So in honor of turning 32, here are some truths that I have discovered along the way that maybe…just maybe…one of them will mean something to you too.

1. Find comfort in being alone. Go places by yourself, take yourself on dates and adventures. Open your heart to meeting new people and striking up conversation with strangers. Traveling solo is one of my most favorite things!
   

2. Practice 5-4-3-2-1. If you have a thought/idea to do something, physically move within 5 seconds before your mind starts giving you excuses or reasons not to act on it. Fight back against what is hard wired in most of us, and just start.
   

3. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. Find comfort in the uncomfortable and continuously seek change.
   

4. The person you are in this moment is not the same person you have to be 5 minutes from now, or tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. There is nothing written in stone defining you. YOU create you. Continue to evolve, always.
   

5. Owning your story is likely going to be hard. But I firmly believe it will never be as hard as running away from it for the rest of your life. Let’s face it, nobody has that much endurance. And it’s exhausting trying t be someone you’re not.
   

6. Quality > quantity…especially when it comes to the people you let into your circle.
   

7. Know you’re worth. Fight to maintain it. Strive for self-love. Always. No matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts, never let anyone take you away from you.
   

8. Anxiety for me is the red flag telling me to take a step back and look at the big picture. Something I am doing is not in alignment with my values, the person I’m trying to be, or life I am trying to live.
   

9. Forgiveness is about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it’s in somebody else’s hands. Take back your power and put your desire to feel good over your desire to be right. “Remember that you won’t even remember this.” -Thank you Jen Sincero
   

10. Dance and sing. In the car. In the kitchen. In the street. At work. Sing and dance wherever and whenever you feel like it because it’s so good for the soul.
    

11. Take care of your health – both mentally and physically. What’s right for one person will not be right for you. Explore and be open to all things and find what makes you feel the best. You cannot have one without the other: Mind, body, spirit. We only have one body – take care of it.
    

12. Drink a gallon of water every day. It does wonders for your complexion and your digestion.
    

13. Surround yourself with the people that make you feel good. Like genuinely good. Find those people and hold them tight.
    

14. Go to therapy. Everyone needs it. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making your mental health a priority and talking about your feelings with someone outside of your friends and family. The whole concept that seeing a mental health provider means you are weak or something is wrong with you is a complete lie.
    

15. FIND YOURSELF. Check in often, take inventory, identify your values, and re-adjust, re-align, re-center, re-start as often as necessary.
    

16. In order to have a conversation with someone, you must reveal yourself. I repeat…in order to have a real conversation with someone, you must reveal yourself.
    

17. Confidence is the most beautiful quality you can have. Stand tall, stand proud, believe in who you are, know what you stand for, and be confident. And stop trying to prove yourself to the people that don’t already know your value.
    

18. Practice gratitude. Every day. It’s truly life changing.
    

19. Try new things. Be open to new experiences. Have an open mind, always.
    

20. Think before you respond. Don’t just talk for the sake of talking.
    

21. Take the time to explore and discover your passions. Don’t close doors before you even give them the opportunity to open.
    

22. Lift up others. If you see something you admire in someone, tell them. It’s not weird. Compliment strangers. And do it often. The world desperately needs more love and kindness.
    

23. Treat everyone like the human being that they are. Take the time to hear and learn people’s story. I promise you that you will be surprised. Homeless, drug addict, mentally ill, asshole, cheater, abuser…everyone has a story. Learn the story before passing judgement.
    

24. Be willing to work without the applause. This whole…only doing things for the sake of receiving something in return…really needs to stop. Work hard, be a good person. It’s really just that simple.
    

25. Stop hiding. I’m not saying all at once. But as you slowly reveal more of yourself over time, you work towards truly living as you, with all of your flaws and quirks. The people worth having in your life are that ones that see all of you, and love you for it.
    

26. Consistency is what leads to success. If you have a setback, keep showing up. If you stumble and fall, get back up and keep going. Be consistent in whatever it is you choose to do.
    

27. Don’t expect others to do what you are unwilling to do.
    

28. Laugh. Laugh often, laugh loud, look like a hyena doing it if that’s what it takes.
    

29. It’s not about where you started or what you’ve been through. Yes, that matters, but it’s what you choose to do with it that really counts. Take inventory, acknowledge where you’ve been, take the time to heal from trauma, heal your heart. You have a choice, always. It might not be clear, it might not be easy, but I promise you that you have it.
    

30. Everyone is scared. You are never alone in that. But yet, we feel this need to hide that fact that we are afraid. Embrace vulnerability, share it, learn from others, and allow others to learn from you. Change is scary. Being vulnerable is scary. That unknown is scary. Everyone is afraid of something.
    

31. Listen to country music. It’s good for the soul.
    

32. And last but not least, allow yourself to feel – Almost anyone can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think, or believe, or you know – you’re a lot of other people. But the moment you feel, you are nobody but yourself. To be nobody but yourself, in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else…means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. Never stop fighting. ” – E.E. Cummings